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Maybe They StaySome people say our guardian angels leave us
They know when we are ready
He left me
I thought I would collapse inwards
And explode outwards
But nothing happened
Here I am twiddling my thumbs.
Dragon DanceWings like leaves with silver lining
Claws raining crimson teardrops
Blood of the virgins – split
Knights of impure heart – limbs hacked and hewn
Bones strewn across the floor like a children’s game of dice
Eyes like great pools of burning liquid gold
Its mouth is a cavern filled with deadly stalagmites
A challenger stares into the dragon’s maw
Inhales the dragon’s breath
1,000 feted corpses linger in the air
Their voices whisper in his ears
And he cries out a challenge to the beast
Even the ground trembles in fear
Eyes aged and cracked like frost on glass
Hands as knotted as an ancient forest
Talons narrow and untrimmed
Wild claws of a beast older than time
Two spaded tales lashing like grass in the wind
The sting of blood hot like fire
Inhaling like a cold winter gale
Exhale the summer
A flash of garnet against a colossal emerald
An early autumn leaf lost in the summer field
Shrieking like the stench of 1,000 dying men
Rage like them and all their mother
take my breath away, i don't need it anywayI want the whole world to stop when I see you
Not because you're beautiful, but because you're you
I want my breath to go out when you speak
Like a sucker punch to the diaphragm
I want even your watery eyes
To pull me out of the dark
I want to be mad at you
But forget it the instant I see your face
I want your touch to send shivers up my spine
And your gaze to do the same
I want to be afraid to catch your eye
Because you could look away - but I'll do it anyway
I want to hold your children and see your smile in their faces
I'd do anything for that smile
I want to have so many pictures of you I could show you to the world
But that's still not enough
I want you to be the reason I fear dying.
Self Inflicted InjuryYou're not depressed. You're selfish.
Stop thinking about you.
The more you think about it, the worse it will get.
It will grow and grow and consume you.
Think about others. Think positive.
But when I thought about others; that's how it began. Dammit. Have I done this to myself?
The world is just so empty. I mean, is it even real?
When I was a child I was convinced I would grow up to become something great.
Maybe a dog.
I never felt like a human anyway.
I never felt like my body.
Whatever that means. I guess I just daydreamed too much.
It was...a long time in the making.
The creature that is me and what is left of me.
Everyone saw this.
Hyperactive, happy kid.
I. I can't remember.
But that's just instinct, I suppose.
I know. It was there.
But I can't feel it anymore.
God, listen to me. I sound like a melodramatic twelve year old.
It's all my fault. I'm selfish.
Thank you. For adding another thing to my list. L
a poem for the best friendI should write more love poems
I'd like to think I know the feeling
Because there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
If you told me never to speak to you again, I could respect that
And if you told me to be your everything, I could embrace that
No matter what comes between us I'll be your friend
As childish as it sounds, I like that
There's something clean and simple about it
You don't find things like this anymore
You say life's too complicated these days
I say there's just not enough
I like it how you're not afraid of me
I don't fear you either
Maybe it's just a poet's soul, but I don't know what it means to hate
As strange as it seems, in your presence I've learned how to love myself
Along with you
If you forget me for a better man (or woman), I can accept that
But I'll never forget you
A Victory of SortsWhen you tell me to swim and rise
I would rather stay beneath the surface
Where the beauty and mystery lies
I would rather die and be forgotten
To disappear in the depths without a trace
And without a name
The dammed may be the lowest
But they stand below no man
There is no reason for them to rise
For they have been feasting on human flesh and sin for centuries
No, it is those above who must fall
I am not afraid.
GravityMy were hands shaking-
No they weren't.
It was my whole body
Not in a way that could be seen
The foundations of a mind
Pulled out from under
I couldn't believe
No one saw it
In stained eyes
Or rapid steps
With a deadly purpose
A ticking time bomb
But no one can see the clock
Am I that good a liar?
I looked over the edge
From a distance
Too timid to climb
Over all the raised cement
Last time I had heaved myself
Up onto the ledge
But that was just for fun
To look down
And imagine flying.
A Party of OneSo you’re alone
And you feel ok
Well that’s alright
They always say
“Life’s not complete until you’re two”
But what do they know?
They aren’t you
So you’re alone and you like it this way
Well that’s ok!
They think they know what’s best
That you’re lonely
But you’ve got all the company you need
From the voices inside your head
Paradoxes in her bonesand she always dismisses herself
and leaves her pupils dilated
lighthouses and forget-me-nots tangled in her chest
but her thoughts shiver more than her dreams.
he calls her beautiful
as she longs to stick his eyes out with stones
and grasp his aching heart between her hands
but they both know he's already broken.
how can they stop when they've never started
she wishes she could send them reeling
with stalwart syllables and poignant sighs
even though she's never made a sound.
the storms outside are bitter
no sweet rain after dusk to wet her lips
the winds inside her are quiet, and seething
with all the words she's never said
and all the promises she's ever broken.
i don't think im alive enough to die yet.we used to play russian roulette on dingy street corners,
cigarettes hanging from soot-blackened lips
and morphine running rampant through our drugged up systems.
i remember how i was always shot.
you ran away when i didn't die
and left me to bleed out
onto the cold concrete.
but you don't understand-
dolls and wallflowers are empty inside,
and hearts constructed hastily with broken matchsticks
don't beat true. it's just dull thumping
in a hollow chest cavity.
(and even the best dentists can't fill this one up.)
red as the noon sun
and all men's shade
when she walks by
the dull stains
of the masses pined
like the fire's died
hips in motion
from tense to open
she's slicing a throat
when she lingers
and the hopeless
while she picks
from the fray
Starving sleep and apologies.My sleep is starving.
It is shivering sweat like snow
across my shoulders as I sob scream
after scream against your skin;
"sorry, I'm so sorry,
go back to sleep."
I am sad
and struggling to stay
together but you slump
against my sickness
and hold me
Quill Feathersgirls like you
& saccharine, chattering
(love, we are
Bad taste.You are a
sad song at the back
of my mouth,
gagging me with
every word I try to
say that isn't praise
of your name and
don't leave me
Tear my tongue from
my cheek, from my spoilt
Let me speak my own
praises of people
who aren't you,
people who could
never be you,
people with hearts
that have not withered,
hands that still know how to
press love-me-tender prints
into my skin and
I still don't know
if you loved or fucked me better.
fadethe frozen stars
listlessly down from their
each but a memory
in the darkened ocean
they sing their
hoping that one will
and when the darkness dawns
it in its inky depths
A Long Time AgoI can’t remember the last time
That I was glad to see the pale sun shining
Up in that sad blue sky.
Maybe it was that last time
I was in your arms,
And wrote about the colour of your voice
And the laughter in your eyes.
Maybe it was when I still loved the dancing
Of all your insincere words
And held them close to my heart
Because I thought it would keep it beating.
Maybe it was the last time
That I believed I had a soul,
When I thought I was worth living;
But that was such a long time ago.
I Take My Shower at SunsetI take my shower at sunset
When the earth begins to swallow the last lingering rays
I am warm, then cold
Like the sky
It is quiet underneath the sound of falling water
My head, massaged into thinking clearly again.
Just as the last golden smudge is hidden away
And the stars are no longer oppressed
The crickets breathe into the night air
And I emerge
Only to redress and retreat.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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